- When we want to de-stress, what should we do? Stressful situations and people have us wound up tight, our heart is racing, our mind is in overdrive, and we are faced with exhaustion. It is in these situations that we need to remember a quick “fix” to get our balance back. If we follow a few simple steps listed below, we can get our minds into a quick recovery:
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- Stop and breathe. Take a slow, deep breath and let it out slowly. I started practicing this several years ago, and I do this anywhere when stress strikes. It is remarkable how well this works. Closing my mouth, I breathe in for the count of 2, and opening my mouth, I exhale slowly for the count of 4. After doing this 5-10 times, slowly, my exhale can easily be extended to the count of 6. It lowers my blood pressure and calms me down, instantly.
- Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen master, and author of many books on mindfulness and how to relax, writes that we need to know what is relaxing to us, and then focus on that. I have spent the past 13 years walking in nature on a daily basis. Back in 2004 my husband and I relocated from Los Angeles to Seattle with a great career move for him. I had loved my own successful career is L.A., but knew this move was an opportunity for me to assess the stress in my life, and that I now had a chance to make a career change. This does not happen very often for most of us. As I was walking my dog, Sabre, daily along heavily wooded, wildlife filled acres along Puget Sound, I found a new way of breathing, relaxing and living. I found what Nhat Hanh describes as mindfulness, as “walking meditation.” And, most importantly, I found what really makes me happy in life: not just being in nature, but living in a place where I am surrounded by nature on a daily basis. Now what about you?
- What gives you peace and joy? What places and events give you the most happiness in life? For me it is: watching a sunset over water; seeing the Olympic Mountains in the morning; seeing otters, seals and orcas cavorting in Admiralty Inlet; seeing pileated woodpeckers, black headed grosbeaks and bald eagles in my backyard. Now write down your list. And the final step ties this all together:
- On a daily basis, concentrate on what makes you happy. Using photos or memories of your favorite events, create visualizations in your mind that you can focus on. As you focus on the “best in life,” let the “worst in life” drop from your mind. We do not have to waste our time and mental energy thinking about stressful situations and relationships. When we choose, instead, to focus on what we love and enjoy, we relax our mind and body, and we de-stress. This practice, over minutes and hours, accumulated during the day, energizes us. When I am running errands I don’t want to do, I focus on those sunsets and what they look like and how it makes me feel. A keychain with a small picture of a sunset is a visual that takes me away from the boring, the mundane, or the unpleasant things in life. Carrying a small pebble from the beach in my pocket does the same thing for me. Listening to a CD in the car of the Beach Boys music takes me mentally to a happier place as I perform my mundane errands.
Now it is your turn. Visualize “the great things” you like. Focus more on them and start enjoying life!
Sunset over the San Juan Islands looking northwest across the Strait of Juan de Fuca from Whidbey Island
