How can you stay true to yourself, if you don’t know who you are? How do you find yourself?
I stumbled upon the answer when I moved to Seattle from Los Angeles, with my husband’s career. Leaving my successful career behind, I was forced to also leave my position in the community and all my business and social contacts, which was a large part of who I was (or so I thought).
Separated from everything I had previously known, I sallied forth, excited about new horizons and unknowns. Soon I was faced with questions of what I was going to choose to do with my life. The questions included:
- Did I want to start up my previous career? What were other possibilities?
- What was I good at doing? What were my talents?
- What did I really enjoy doing in life?
- What gave me joy and peace?
- Who was I and where was I going?
Determined to spend time alone with myself, I began a routine of daily walks with my dog in nature. Taking in everything around me on these walks, with all my five senses, clarity took over my mind. The following thoughts were validated:
- Slow down. Enjoy every minute of my time with my dog, myself, and all the sights, sounds, and smells surrounding me.
- Don’t be in a rush to make a decision and jump into a new endeavor or career.
Eventually, the affirmations of who I was unfolded in thoughts that came to me. The process is called Mindfulness. I began the process with walking Meditation, not realizing that was what I was doing.
Mindfulness is living each minute aware of what you are doing, not thinking about the past or the future. My walks with my dog were focused on what I saw, how I felt, and just being. Then, thoughts came to me from my Creator: the beauty and immensity of nature in all of its forms, and how it fit together in patterns, seasons, and eco-systems of survival of all its creatures. And finally, thoughts of how I fit into the grand scale of creation, and what I wanted to offer were the final pieces of my puzzle.
A renewed joy in living came over me. Even as the anxiety of being faced with taking care of both of my aging parents weighed down on me, I was able to clearly make choices for them, and my husband and I set our boundaries and chose what we wanted to do. We chose not to move back to the Midwest where we had lived for 46 years, but chose to move further into the Pacific Northwest.
Now I thrive on the wonders that surround me every moment of every day. Harbor seals, sea lions, otters and orcas are residents perching on rocks below our bluff, or traversing north and south in Admiralty Inlet in their search for food as they frolic and live out their lives.
On those inevitable mornings, after restless nights of anxious thoughts and questions about the direction of the world, and of my own direction in life, an immediate confirmation reminds me to stay true to myself. It keeps me on a steady course.
Lessons Learned:
- Take time to be in nature every day—in Mindfulness
- Pray, release your thoughts, and just be
- Set your boundaries and take care of your physical, mental, and financial health
- Stay tuned in to following your values and morals of doing what is right. A world of opportunities will unfold for you.
Sea lion on rock in Admiralty Inlet
